Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize