their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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