Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
