Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the day after is always just damage control
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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