1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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