I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
