I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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