I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
