need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
