just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
