Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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