Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
