I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
