rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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