Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
