Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
