Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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