Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
