But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
