Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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