Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
