my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
how drunk are you?
Several
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Shame - the story of my life.
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