i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
