If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
