it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
