CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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