i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Boobs speak an international language.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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