in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
