so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
