so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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