so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
