so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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