Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
