Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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