just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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