cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
