but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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