So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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