If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
