Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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