Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
