He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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