I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
