Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So much Jack, so little girl.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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