Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
