Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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