I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
