I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
