I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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