sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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