I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm jealous of your bromance
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
