ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize