So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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