if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She bit a glass in half.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Randomize