So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
