and you said cock pushups were impossible
do herpes really smell.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
