dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
