Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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