he wants to bone in the snuggie
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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