Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
