I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize